Chapter 21

The first one to cry has to leave a comment or send me an email. :')

Only one person in the world had ever called him "Hannie."  Hannibal Heyes did not recognize the frail, tired looking woman as she walked towards him.  But when she had called him by the childhood nickname, a closer inspection allowed him to see the slight resemblance she held to the girl he had once thought he'd loved.  Time had not been kind to her.  Her once shiny auburn hair was now a nondescript brownish color with streaks of grey.  Dull strands of the thin hair escaped a haphazard bun to fly in disarray around her pale face.  A face that was marred with more lines and wrinkles than a woman of thirty-two should have.  A figure he would have once described as elegantly slender could now only be described as haggard and gaunt.
 
They stood there staring at each other.   He unable to believe that the woman in front of him who looked so old,  and worn was the same girl he had known.

She unable to believe that the boy she had treated so shabbily was standing in front of her now, holding her child.  Hannibal Heyes.  The same Hannibal Heyes who had robbed trains and banks for the last fifteen years.  The same Hannibal Heyes she had dreamed of on the lonely nights when she was up with a baby.   The same Hannibal Heyes she wished she had never let go.  The same Hannibal Heyes she had daydreamed of running away with.  She had fantasized about being the woman of the handsome desperado.  But how she had imagined he looked grown up had not compared to the reality of the lean muscular man she was looking at now.  She didn't even try to disguise the obvious look of lust that crossed her face as her eyes raked him up and down.  The years had certainly been kind to Hannibal Heyes.  He had been a cute boy.  But he was a gorgeous and no doubt virile man.

As soon as Evie heard her say "Hannie,"  she knew who this woman  was.  She was Laura Thompson.  The stupid girl who had broken the heart of young Hannibal Heyes.  Evie could read this woman's thoughts as clearly as if they had been written on a chalk board above her head.  "Boy did I mess up" she was thinking as she looked him up and down.  Evie's spine tingled.  This was the woman her mother had been warning her about in the dreams.   She wanted to step between Hannibal and this woman, to shield him from her.  Whether it was her mother's warnings or the way she was practically taking his clothes off with her eyes, she wasn't sure, but one thing was for sure, she did not like this woman.

"Hannie, it's me, Laura, don't you remember."

Heyes put the little girl down and she rushed to grab onto her mother's leg.

"I'm sorry, ma'am you must have me confused with someone else."  He took Evie's hand and moved past the woman.

She grabbed his arm as he walked by her.  "You don't have to worry.  I won't give you away."  Her bony fingers encircled his firm bicep, squeezing.  "I won't tell anyone who you really are,"  she whispered in a desperate tone.  Her eyes were begging him not to leave.

He tipped his hat, said, "Good day, ma'am,"  and headed for the door.

They met Thaddeus and Livvy coming in the open front doors.

"Evangeline, here you are. You should see the adorable shoes they have in that little shop on the corner.  Joshua, you won't mind terribly if I steal her for a few moments will you?"   She stopped and looked questioningly at the two of them. Their expressions were grave.  "What's wrong?"

Kid had seen that look on Heyes' face before.  It was the "somebody knows us, let's get out of here"  look.

"Evie's not feeling so well,  I think maybe our shopping trip was a bit premature,"  Heyes lied.

Evie caught on quick and feigned fatigue and illness.  "Yes, my leg is starting to throb and so is my head.  It's only been a week since I was bitten.   I think we should head back to the ranch."

Livvy tossed her boxes into Thaddeus' arms and turned her full attention to her "ailing" niece.  "Come sit here on this bench while Thaddeus  and Joshua go get the surrey."  She led Evie to a bench on the boardwalk in front of the mercantile.

Heyes looked over his shoulder.  Laura was observing their every move and hanging on their every word.  Now she had seen Kid.  And now she had heard their aliases.  This could mean trouble.  They had to get out of here fast.  He and Kid practically ran to the surrey that was parked in front of the cafe.

"What happened, Heyes?"

"Laura Thompson happened.  She spotted me in the general store.  She was the woman with all the kids.  I told her she was mistaken but then she saw you.  She's going to know that it's you and me for sure."   Heyes climbed in the front and took the reins.  "Let's get back to the ranch.  Giddy up!"

Evangeline glanced over her shoulder.  The woman was pretending to be interested in a display of iron skillets and cooking pots located just inside the door of the mercantile.  But Evie could tell she was only trying to hear every word they were saying.

"Perhaps we should just check into the hotel and call for a doctor.   It's a long ride to Red Rock."
Would you please hush, Livvy!  Evie wanted to shout.  She didn't want that woman to know where they were headed.

"No, I just want to get out of this town.  All these people and the noise are giving me a headache,"  she fibbed.

Heyes stopped the surrey in front of the mercantile.  Thaddeus helped the ladies inside.  As they rode away Evie and Thaddeus looked back to see Laura Thompson, baby Hannibal still on her hip, standing on the boardwalk watching them depart.

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"You're sure it was her?"

"Kid, who else in the world would call me Hannie?"

"But you denied it?"

"Of course I did.  And she might have believed it wasn't me until you walked in.  And thanks to Livvy now she knows we go by Thaddeus and Joshua."  The boys turned towards the bunkhouse door when it opened.

"And that we were headed to Red Rock."  Evie added as she came through the door of the bunkhouse to join the boys in their discussion.  "While you two were going after the surrey she was saying what a long ride it was back to Red Rock.  And that bony old brood mare was right there listening to every word."

"So what should we do about it, Heyes?"  Kid asked.

"There's nothing we can do.  I don't think she's going to turn us in though.  As we were walking out she said not to worry that she wasn't going to tell anybody who I really was.  And I don't think she will."

Evie's mouth fell open.  She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "And you trust anything that lying old biddy says?   She stomped on your heart and took up with another boy without so much as an apology or a 'kiss my foot' and you think she's going to be loyal to you now?  Didn't you see all those children?  Don't  you think she could use twenty thousand dollars?  I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her."   She thought about that for a moment.  "Well, I probably could throw her pretty far,  she didn't look like she weighed over ninety pounds soaking wet."

"Just calm down.  We've had to deal with this kind of thing before.  We know how to handle it."

"Yeah, but, Heyes,  usually when somebody spots us and we have to get outta town, nobody  knows where we're headed.    She knows we were coming to Red Rock.  And she knows we go by Thaddeus and Joshua.  If anybody comes asking questions it won't take too long for them to put it all together and head straight for the ranch,"  Kid said.

"Well, if she is going to turn us in, she'll probably do it soon, so we don't have a chance to get too far away.  So I figure if we don't see a posse or a sheriff riding in here in the next day or two, we're safe."

"I don't like taking that kind of chance, Heyes and just waiting here like sitting ducks.  I think we should leave, hide out for a while.  We can always go to Rising Gulch."

"And how are we going to explain that to Livvy.  If we just up and disappear without a good explanation,  she'll pack Evie off so fast our heads will spin.  And you know we only go to Rising Gulch if there's no other choice."

"Where's Rising Gulch?  And don't gulches sink instead of rise?"

"It's an old abandoned mining town it northern New Mexico.  It's near the Red River close to the Colorado border.  We stumbled across it one time when we was being chased by a posse and we hid out there for a couple of weeks.  They never did find us.  So we decided that if we ever got into trouble and had to split up, we would always meet in Rising Gulch.  It's hard to get to and not many people know about it."

Evie listened as the boys discussed their options.  She could see now why the amnesty was so important to them.  She wished they had never gone to Cold Springs.  She would have rather been missing them while they were out wrangling horses for days instead of going through this.

"Why don't you just go out to wrangle some more horses.  You can stay gone for a few days and if anything happens Big Mac can send one of his hands out to find you and warn you.  And if nothing happens in a few days, we can assume everything is alright and you can come back home.  Livvy will just think you're out doing your job."

"You know, I think some of Heyes' genius must be rubbing off on you, Evie.  That's perfect."

"It is perfect, just like you,"  Heyes said as he gathered her in his solid embrace.

"You two get packed then and I'll go in and tell Livvy something that won't make her suspicious.    We'll be back to say goodbye."

                                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a long goodbye kiss they shared as they stood shielded by Heyes' horse.  He didn't want to leave her.  And she didn't want him to go.  But any threat to their freedom had to be taken seriously.  Missing him for a few days was preferable to losing him for twenty years.

"Please be careful and don't let your guard down.  Hopefully everything will be fine and you can come home to me."

"Home.  That's a good word.  One I haven't been able to say in a long time."  He gave her one last firm kiss then mounted his horse with the grace and agility that only he possessed and the two partners rode off into the dusk.

Livvy came and put her arm around her niece's waist as they watched their men disappear on the horizon.  "They're quite a pair, those two.  I got a little teary eyed saying goodbye to Thaddeus, I can only imagine how you must feel, watching the man you love ride off."

Evie looked down at her petite aunt, so like her mother.  "And I do love him."

"I know.  And he loves you.  He makes you happy and I'm glad.  Come on, let's go inside and plan a welcome home supper they will never forget.  I do hope you didn't inherit your mother's cooking skills.  If you did maybe I should do all the planning."

"No, I learned my cooking skills from Daddy.  He taught me everything I know."

"And your brother, did he inherit any of your mother's traits?"

"You would have loved him.  He looked like Mama. And he was so funny."

They strolled to the house arm in arm talking and sharing.  The next few days would be spent bonding and getting closer while they awaited the return of their men.  And each day Big Mac would ride into town and keep his ear to the ground for any word of a Heyes and Curry sighting.  And each day he would come home and let Evie know in some way that so far all was clear.  The evenings were passed around the piano or with one of the ladies reading aloud.  By the fifth day, Evie was so anxious for Hannibal to be home she thought she was going to explode.  At four in the afternoon that Monday,  Georgia came scurrying through the front door,  "They coming over the hill!  I'll get that beef on the pot.  Soon as you ladies get through with all the smoochin' and such, get on in the kitchen.  It's gonna take the three of us to get it all on the table."

Evie ran with skirts lifted until she was swept up in the arms of her beloved outlaw turned cowboy.  "No posse, no sheriff?"  he managed between kisses.

"No posse, no sheriff, no word of a Heyes and Curry sighting.  All's clear."

                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life couldn't get much better.  At least not life as he would ever know it.  Hannibal Heyes sipped the glass of brandy he held in his hand as he listened to Livvy and Mr. MrCreedy sing a duet with Evie accompanying on the piano.  He wanted to cherish these moments.  These moment were as close to family togetherness as he and Kid would ever have.  And he had a feeling they wouldn't last.  They never did.  They had all retired to the parlor after feasting on the huge meal the ladies had prepared, where Evie had begun her nightly ritual of entertaining them with song.   He gazed lovingly at her now, doing the one thing that she loved, as she put it only slightly less than she loved him.  Her face was aglow with happiness.  She and Livvy had gotten so much closer while he and Kid had been away the last few days.  And Livvy had come to realize just how much he and Evie meant to each other.  Livvy was pretty happy herself these days having earned her niece's affection and Thaddeus Jones undivided attention.  Heyes smiled to himself when he recalled the secret smiles the  two had shared over dinner.  He knew that soon Kid would claim to be tired and excuse himself to make an early night of it.  And shortly thereafter, Livvy would suddenly need  some fresh air and would go outside for a walk.  They may be fooling everyone else but they certainly weren't fooling him.  Love was definitely in the air at the McCreedy ranch.  And speaking of love, his heart was so full of it for the vision of perfection sitting at that piano it was all he could do not to march over to her and pull her into his arms and show her just how much he loved her.   Normally he would be there with the rest of them singing and laughing, but tonight he was in one of those Hannibal Heyes moods.  The reality of who and what he was became clear to him again this past week when Laura had recognized him.  And seeing her, then having to be alone out in the hills without Evie had given him too much time alone with his own thoughts.  And sometimes being alone with his own thoughts was not a good place to be.  Laura recognizing him had been a harsh slap of reality right in his face.  He was an outlaw.  He was wanted.  Undeserving of someone as good and sweet as Evangeline Webb.

The song ended to claps and laughter from all.  Heyes set his half empty glass on the table and joined the rest of the group.  He stood beside Livvy.  "Would you mind playing a little something while I ask the lady for a dance?"  Livvy nodded, smiling.

"Would you do me the honor, Miss Webb?"    he asked as he offered his hand to the woman he loved.
She stood and took his hand and Livvy took her place and began a simple waltz.  They spun around the room to the music, but neither of them really heard the music.  They were each drowning in the color of the other's eyes, in the sound of the other's breathing, and in the scent of the other's skin.  Before the song ended the only sound either of them could hear was their own heart beating in their own ears.  It took them both a moment to  even realize that Livvy had stopped playing the waltz and had begun another sing a long with Thaddeus and Big Mac. They stood swaying back in forth locked in each other's arms.  They had danced their way to the French doors that were open and leading to the open patio outside.  He danced her outside where they stood silently watching a star filled sky.

"Silently one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven, blossomed the lovely stars.  The forget-me-nots of the angels,"  he quoted from Longfellow.

"You remember,"  she said, her face glowing with love and joy.

"I'll never forget,"  he said unsmiling as he lovingly cupped the side of her face before turning away from her and staring out into the blackness of night.

"What's wrong?  You've been acting strangely all night.  I thought you'd be happy knowing that the law isn't after you and that Livvy has finally come to her senses about us.  Everything is perfect."

He gave a humorless laugh.  "Yeah, until the next time somebody spots us."  He turned to face her.  "Don't you know this same thing is just gonna keep happening.  It always does.  That's how life with me is going to be."  He took a deep breath.  He didn't want to say these things to her, but he'd been selfish for too long.  "It was wrong and selfish  of me to ever let you get involved with me.  I'm only going to bring heartache and disappointment into your life, Evie.  Maybe you should consider going back to Nashville with Livvy.  Remember when you told me that your father used to tell your mother that if he had loved her like he claimed, he would never have married her and taken her away from the security of her family?  Well, I'm doing what your father should have done.  What he would want me to do for you.  He was right about something else too.   Everything that happens to us is a consequence of choice.  And the choices I've made in my life have forced me into the position I'm in now.  Running and looking over my shoulder all the time.  I deserve this life for what I've done, you don't."

She was stunned.  She was speechless at first.  Then she laughed nervously, unable to believe what she was hearing.  Hadn't they gotten past all of this.    "Where is all this coming from.  I don't understand.  I love you.  I know you love me.  So why all of the sudden are you talking about me going away. Did seeing that stupid woman scare you so bad that you're willing to give up our life together?"

"No, it just made me realize that I'm no good for you.  You can't have any kind of a life with me."

She walked determinedly towards him.  She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her.  "What kind of life would I have without you?"

He gave her a half hearted smile, removed her hands and turned away again.  He strolled from the patio and into the grassy meadow that spread out behind the ranch house.

 He heard her slow approach and knew she was standing behind him, waiting and wondering.  "What was it like, growing up with your folks?  Having them both there with you all the time?"

She moved around to face him.  What a beautiful face. She loved that face. But she didn't love the sad distant look that covered that face at this moment.  Running into Laura Thompson had opened up old wounds for him and made him doubt his worthiness to love and be loved, and she despised the woman for it.  Her heart ached for him and the boy he had been. He had been cheated out of a normal life with parents who loved him and it wasn't fair.  He hadn't deserved it. Now he was an outlaw.  He had committed many crimes, but she understood now, why he had.  He had told her it was all about choices just like her father had said, but she wasn't all that sure that the world had given young Hannibal Heyes a choice.  Had he been given a choice when his folks had been taken from him?  Had he been given a choice when he was carted off to an orphan's home?  He had been robbed of his family, his childhood and probably his faith that he could ever rely on anyone but himself.  And so he had robbed.  Yes, she understood.  She wanted him to know what it was like to have a family like she had been so blessed to have.  She couldn't give him back his family but she could share the memories she had of hers with him, and in a sense let him have a childhood through her.

"It was wonderful. I wish you could have been a part of my family.  You would have loved them and they would have loved you.  My father would have taught you every card trick he knew.  He would have taught you that it wasn't having the best hand that made you a winner, but playing the best you could with the hand you had that made you a winner. But he would also have told you that you couldn't use your skills as a cardsharp to bring harm to people. He had learned that was wrong.  You had to work hard to earn your living.  And mama would have sung you to sleep every night after she tucked you in tight in your bed.  Or she would play a soft tune on the piano to lull you to sleep. And she would make you say your prayers before you went to bed and after you got up in the morning.  'The day just seems to go better when you start it with a prayer' she would say. And when it was your birthday, Mama would have made you a new pair of pants and a shirt, and Daddy would have gone to town and brought home a kitty or a puppy or maybe even a pet duck or goose for you.  I had so many pets in my life I can't remember all of them.  And of course Daddy would make you a cake.  Mama tried once to make me a cake and it was horrible.  But Christmas was the most wonderful time of all.  Daddy would  fix a big meal. And since Daddy had to do all of the cooking we would go with Mama to the woods and find a nice cedar tree to chop down.  We'd bring it back to the house and string popcorn and cranberries to decorate it with. After we ate our dinner, Mama would  read the story of the first Christmas from the Bible.  Then we would sing carols as Mama played the piano.  And finally it was time for the stockings.  We would run to the fireplace and pull them down and dump everything out on the floor.  It was magic."

She watched his face as she told him her memories of her life with her family.  He stared off in the distance and she knew he was picturing himself doing all of those things with his own family.  There was such a sorrow in his coffee colored eyes that her own eyes began to blur with tears.  One tear escaped the corner of her eye to slide slowly down her cheek.  He smiled wanly at her and then with his thumb wiped the trail of tears from her cheek.  He knew she was crying for him and not herself.

"You know I can't remember what they look like.  My folks,  I mean.  There are times, just brief seconds when I think I've got a clear picture of their faces in my head, and then it disappears.  Sort of like when you're trying to remember a dream and it almost comes to you then it's gone.  Like a vapor in the wind."

"That's why I'm so grateful that you grabbed the memory bag that day.  At least I'll always have a photograph of my family to remember what they looked like.  But even if I didn't have that and I did forget what they looked like, I would still remember what I felt.  I felt happy, peaceful, safe and loved."

"Yeah.  That's what I remember too.  Being happy, safe and loved."  He gathered another tear from the corner of her eye and studied it as it clung there to his finger tip.   "I lied to you."

Her eyebrows came together in a quizzical frown,  "When?"

"That day you asked me if I had cried since I was thirteen and I led you to believe that I had.  But I haven't.  I haven't cried since then.  Sixteen years.  That's how long it's been since I've shed a tear for anything or anybody."   He stared out over the dark meadow, dimly lit by the half moon overhead.    How any times had he wanted to cry after that day sixteen years ago?  Many.  But he never allowed himself the release of it.  Because there was always somebody looking to him for their strength.  All his life it seemed everybody around him had fed off his energy and his strength.  But what about when he had needed someone to be strong for him?   Not even Jed had been able to do that.

She understood now.  Without him saying it she still understood.  Seeing Laura Thompson had been like pulling a finger out of a hole in the dam.  The pressure of years of being strong for others was behind it and it was about to break.  Without saying a word she put her arms around him and held him close.  She showered his face with tender little kisses.  "I wish I could take it all from you.  All the pain and the hurt.  I wish I could just kiss it all away."   He squeezed her so tight she thought she might break in half.   He buried his face in the crook of her neck and she could tell by the sound of his breathing he was trying hard not to burst into tears.  She stepped away slightly and held his face between her hands.   "Go on.  Cry.  You deserve to.  Let it out.   You don't have to be strong for anybody anymore.  Not for yourself, not for Jed, and not for me.  Let me be strong for you this time."   His eyes were closed and his chin was starting to quiver.  "Look at me."  He opened his eyes and looked into hers.  "Hannibal, this time, let me rescue you."   His eyes squeezed shut and tears spilled from the corners.   She cradled him to her breast as they sank to the ground.  She held him there as he wept.   He wept for all the loss he had suffered.  The loss of his parents, his childhood, his innocence, his freedom.

She held him like a mother holding her crying child.  She stroked his hair and smoothed his back while she whispered endearments and words of hope, her own tears falling to soak his dark hair.  Was it possible to love somebody this much?  To want to be a part of another human being this much?

As he lay there sobbing like a child, his head on her breast, he wondered why he didn't feel embarrassed or emasculated in front of her.  But he didn't.  He knew that she knew him and loved him.  Knew his heart.  She knew that he was a human being that needed just like everyone else.  With her he wasn't afraid to be human.   With her he could be that scared, lost, lonely little boy he had never been given the luxury of being.   He let the tears of a lifetime flow from deep down inside of his soul.  And she captured them on her breasts where they seemed to sink through her skin and into her heart.

Eventually the tears were spent and they simply held each other in the moonlit meadow.  The strains of the piano could still be heard from inside the ranch house.  It had only been a few minutes ago that they had danced their way outside.  But it seemed like a lifetime had lapsed.  Like they had shared a lifetime of sorrow and grief together.  And now the storm was over and the sunlight was breaking through the clouds.

"I hate to break it to you, Mr. Heyes, but I'd rather spend a life of uncertainty, looking over my shoulder with you,  than any kind of life without you.  I'll take my chances.  Your not getting rid of me that easily.  I'm not going anywhere."

He raised red, swollen eyes to hers,  "You promise?"

"I promise."   The look in her eyes told him she meant it.

He wanted to ask her to share his life.  He wanted that so much.  To be able to walk down the street with her on his arm and proudly introduce her as his wife.  But that was impossible.  Not without the amnesty.  And he knew she understood that.

"I love you more than I ever thought it was possible for me to love anybody, you know that? "

"Yes, I'm beginning to catch on.  And you know I love you more than my own life don't you?   I'm bound to you, mind, soul and spirit. Nothing will ever change that."

He sat up suddenly with grin on his face.

"What?"  she asked, seeing his sudden change of mood.

"Why can't we bind ourselves together like your great grandparents did?"

"You mean the Scottish hand fasting ritual?"

"Yeah.  We could make our commitment to each other in front of the people that matter to us.  And we won't have to file any papers, so using my alias won't matter.  If you want to."

"If I want to? Hum.  Let me think.  Do I want to stand before God and swear my commitment to one day be your wife with all of the people we love as witnesses?"  She pretended to mull it over before fairly shouting, "Yes, yes, yes!"

She threw her arms around his neck.  He stood and lifted her off the ground and hugged her tightly before kissing her so deeply and thoroughly that she was gasping for air when he finally released her.

"Let's go tell Kid and Livvy our plans."

"If they haven't both suddenly been struck with the need to get some fresh air."

"Oh, you noticed that too did you."

They shared a laugh as they made their way back to the house to share their excitement with the two most important people in their lives besides each other.

Evie went to sleep that night with a smile on her face.   Her dreams were filled with visions of her hand and Hannibal's bound together.  His beautiful face smiling down at her.  She looked down at the tartan binding surrounding their wrists.  Her smile disappeared as the binding turned into shackles.  His wrists were now bound with shackles and he was being dragged away.   She screamed and tried to run after him, but her feet were shackled to a brick wall.  Then her mother was there again, shaking her head and saying,   "The smith.  The smith."    Evie woke with a strangled scream stuck in her throat, and a heaviness surrounding her heart.