Severed Selves
Two separate divided silences,
Which, brought together, would find loving voice;
Two glances which together would rejoice
In love, now lost like stars beyond dark trees;
Two hands apart whose touch alone gives ease;
Two bosoms which, heart-shrined with mutual flame,
Would, meeting in one clasp, be made the same;
Two souls, the shores wave-mocked of sundering seas:—
Such are we now. Ah! may our hope forecast
Indeed one hour again, when on this stream
Of darkened love once more the light shall gleam?
An hour how slow to come, how quickly past,
Which blooms and fades, and only leaves at last,
Faint as shed flowers, the attenuated dream.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I still can't believe you've done this, Evangeline," Livvy scolded as she looked again at the contract her niece had signed just two days ago. "Why would you do this without me being there? You never sign a contract without having someone else look at it first. And when he said, 'perhaps we can come up with some sort deal to keep all interested parties out of the throes of scandal' I didn't think he meant this."
"There wasn't time for that, Livvy. He made it very clear that he wanted it done that day and that I couldn't involve you or he would withdraw the offer. And if you had heard him describe the conditions in that place you would have done the same thing."
"He's very clever, I'll give him that. He knew he could reel you in with stories about how deplorable it is in prison. That's why he wanted to see you alone. I never should have agreed to it."
"Do you really think the outcome would have been any different if you had been there?"
"Yes. For one thing there would have been a time limit. No where in this contract does it say how long you have to stay here. I'm not even sure if this is legal and binding. I'm going to have my attorneys go over it with a fine toothed comb."
"He told me it was. He is a lawyer after all. He's worded it so that it seems I'm offering him a service in exchange for room and board and anything else I might need or want."
"Well, doesn't that sound all lovely and innocent. It's slavery is what it is!"
"You would have done the same thing if you had been in my shoes. I had no choice. Not only did he offer to let them out of prison with a full pardon but he also threatened to tell the truth about the baby."
Livvy covered her face with her ands and groaned towards the ceiling. "That would be disastrous."
"Yes, I know. As you remind me all the time."
Evie rose from her seat and went to stare out the hotel window at the busy street of downtown Cheyenne. She was beginning to know how Hannibal and Jed had felt all these years. She just wanted to have a normal life. And now having anything normal seemed so far out her reach.
Livvy came up behind her and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry. I know you were only doing what you felt was best for everyone. I just wish you didn't have to make such an awful choice."
"Does it really matter? If I agreed to his terms, both of them would be in prison for the next eighteen years. So if I have to live my life without him, at least now I can live it knowing he's free. I don't think God intended for me to be happy."
"Don't blame God for anything, Evangeline. It's men who make their secret deals and send other men to prison when they should have been given amnesty that you should blame. Blame men like Clayton Ramsey. And all to keep the public from believing that his son is what he really is. Ooooo it makes me so angry."
"You should have seen him, Livvy. He was thin and all his hair was gone. All his beautiful hair. I just hope he doesn't hate me." She couldn't hold back her sorrow as the last word was released on a sob. She turned into her aunt's waiting arms and cried until her head ached.
"He could never hate you. Did you hate him when he left you standing heartbroken in the middle of a field as he rode off? No, you didn't. And even when he discovers what you've done, he'll be angry no doubt, but he will always love you. Of that I am absolutely sure."
"I think we should just find Hannibal and Jed and tell them the truth," Evie sniffled.
"What? Are you crazy? You said he had made it very clear that we are never to see either of them again. In fact I believe he told you that you could never have any kind of contact. You know he will have us watched around the clock. He will have them arrested on some trumped up charges that will have them hanged. You heard how callous and cold he was when it came to the death of his own wife. And he couldn't have cared any less about his own daughter who is now insane after losing her mother. I wouldn't be surprised if he killed her himself for her inheritance money."
"Please don't say things like that. Don't even think things like that. I'll start believing it and then I won't be able to tolerate living in that mansion with him."
"He may not be a killer but he's certainly not a good father. He keeps his daughter locked away in a town three hundred miles from here. I'm surprised he doesn't send his son there as well. But I have the feeling he wants to keep him here so he can monitor his every move. No wonder the poor thing has turned into such a ....a......mess."
"I hope Martha gets to see him and talk to him. Did you give her the cash and did she make sure they got the horses?"
"Yes, and the clothes that you bought them. And their hats. It's a good thing you packed those dusty old things when we started this concert tour."
Evie just smiled wanly, thinking about Heyes' black, silver-studded hat and Jed's brown floppy brimmed one with it's turquoise trimmed conchos. After the boys had been sent to prison and her attempt to visit had failed, Lom had pulled in some favors and had gotten possession of Hannibal and Jed's belongings. She had all of their clothes, boots, saddlebags and their horses. She had kept their hats hanging from the bed posts of her bed back home in Nashville, and when they had moved to Boston, she had taken them with her. And she couldn't bare to leave them behind when they had left one month ago to begin this tour. She had packed them and brought them along. Sometimes she found herself talking to the hats as though the men who had once worn them were still beneath them. It was times like those when she doubted her own sanity. And after signing her life away, she was doubting it again. But then she reminded herself that no price was too great for him to be free. "You're sure about the horses?" she asked.
"Yes, yes," Livvy answered impatiently, still scrutinizing the contract, "She is going to get someone in town to meet them with the horses and another to meet them with the letter you wrote and the money you wanted them to have right away so Jed could eat." Livvy looked away from the papers for a moment and smiled to herself as she thought about Jed Curry sitting down to a plate full of hot home cooked food. But she quickly shoved her reverie aside and returned her thoughts to the matter at hand. "I thought it would be safer to use several messengers. That way the trail of communication won't be so easily followed. He never said you couldn't send him one last letter, but we can't be too careful, because I have a feeling that he means business when he says he'll find some way to have them locked up again if you or I have any communication with them. And Martha is going to give them the cash herself along with the letter that I wrote. The letter tells them where to find Odin and Rusty. Are you sure you want to give Rusty away to Jedediah?"
"Yes. It's only right that the horses should stay together. It's not likely that I'm going to be leaving the grounds of the governor's mansion for quite some time so I won't be able to ride him anyway. I'm going to miss those two. But I know they will be in good hands. Hannibal is going to be so surprised at how tame Odin has become. And how much wilder Rusty had gotten since being around Odin." She sighed and fought the next onslaught of tears, thinking that she wouldn't be there to see him reunite with his horse. Get used to it Evie. This is your life now.
"Have you packed everything?" Livvy asked.
"Yes. Everything is packed."
"Well, then, I guess as soon as Martha and James return and Martha confirms that she has seen them and they are free, we can be going to your new home," Livvy said with a snarl of her lip.
Evie just closed her eyes and fought the wave of nausea that hit her. She couldn't stop the rise of bile in her throat at the thought of that place being her home. "It's not my home. It's my temporary place of residence. "
"And I want you to remember that. It's temporary. We will make the best of it for now, but we are going to find a way out of this. After all, he only wants the public to believe that his son has stopped being a philandering whore monger and that he's settled down with a wife. After a few months people will stop talking about it and they will stop watching you and if and when he's reelected, we will quietly return to Nashville and nobody will be the wiser. That's when we will get an annulment, find Jed and Hannibal and bring them home."
"And we will tell them the truth."
"Yes, we can tell them the truth then. I promise. But until then you have to resist the temptation to see him. I know you too well, Evangeline and you will sneak off and meet him somewhere if you think you can get away with it. I'd hate to have to lock you in your room again."
"I'm not going to sneak off. This is too important. I don't want to do anything to risk them going back to prison. I'd die first."
"I'm afraid you are going to have to become virtually a prisoner yourself in that mansion, to avoid any contact with him. Because you know he is going to figure out what you've done and he's going to be hell bent on finding you. And if he does, I'm afraid he'll do something stupid that will land him back in prison, like kill the groom and the governor."
"And when Jed finds out what you've done, he might kill you."
"That is another subject for another day. Right now we have to worry about living up to your end of this deal."
Evie felt the dread cover her like a death shroud. Tomorrow she would become a married woman. She refused to say wife. Because there was only one man who would ever be allowed to call her his wife, the man she feared she would never see again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The cafe was just beginning to take in the evening supper crowd when the boys rode into Laramie. They had arrived just in time to see the messenger boy walking out of the cafe. He didn't even notice Kid and Heyes, because he was too busy staring at the silver dollar in his hand. The boys were just about to enter the door to the cafe when a couple exited the doors.
"Beg pardon, ma'am," Heyes offered, removing his hat.
The lady gasped and the gentleman took hold of her arm and hurried her away as though they had just seen a couple of lepers. Heyes and Kid exchanged looks. Did they look that bad, they both wondered? They both gave an indifferent shrug and entered the cafe doors. Kid also removed his hat and they stood for a moment and scanned the room hoping to find the red haired lady. Their search ceased when a man, apparently the owner of the establishment, came to stand sternly before them.
"I'm sorry, but we don't have any tables available," he said with a scowl.
Kid frowned at the man. "I see two tables right over there that don't appear to be occupied."
"They are reserved for special guests who haven't arrived yet," the man said, nervously shuffling his feet, and obviously lying.
"Now, look," Kid said with a forced smile, trying to be amiable and calm, "we've got money to spend just like the rest of these folks. And we're hungry and we want to eat. So if you'll just show us to the closest table..."
"Like I said those tables are reserved. I hear the Double Deuce Saloon offers a fine meal for men such as yourselves." The man's eyes traveled up and down their thin figures and came to rest on their stubble covered heads, then darted back and forth between two pair of questioning eyes.
Kid turned to face Heyes but found his partner's eyes remained locked with the judgmental man's, "Men such as ourselves, meaning ex convicts, right?" Heyes asked with a smile that was not meant to be charming.
The man's eyes showed a nervousness that bordered on fear. Heyes' eyes shifted to the left and then the right of the room. Everyone in the cafe had stopped eating and was watching. When he returned his gaze to the owner, the man's was covered with a sheen of sweat and his protruding Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped nervously before speaking in hushed tones, "We don't serve your kind here. Now I'm asking you nicely to please leave my establishment, or I will have to get the sheriff."
Kid opened his mouth to say something, but Heyes silenced him with a gentle pat to the arm and with a jerk of his head signaled him to leave. They put their hats back on their heads and left the cafe.
"We're never going to get anything accomplished, Kid, if you don't keep your head covered. Everybody will know we've just been released from prison. I guess folks in this town have had some bad experiences with newly released prisoners. And thanks to the prison barber, an ex con is easy to spot." Heyes eyed his partner. "You do look pretty ridiculous with that shaved head."
"Me? Have you looked in a mirror lately?"
"You know I ain't seen a mirror in more than a year."
Kid tapped his partners shoulder and gave him a smug grim as he pointed to the large glass window of the cafe behind them. Heyes turned to see the reflection of Kid Curry and a skinny, hollow eyed man he didn't even recognize standing beside him. He removed his hat and rubbed his work-roughened hand over the stubble on his head. No wonder Evie hadn't waited for him outside the prison. He looked horrifying.
"These bald heads of ours ain't gonna make it easy to hide the fact that we just got out of prison. Here we are, free men, pardoned of all our crimes and still we get asked to leave the better establishments. We're darned if we do and darned if we don't. What do we do now?" Kid pondered.
"I guess we'll just have to wait out here for the lady to come out," Heyes said as he went to sit on the bench not far from the cafe doors.
"Wait? But Heyes, I'm starving. And it looks like the only place that serves our kind is the Double Deuce. Come on let's go find it."
"And miss the red haired lady? Kid she's the only link I've got to...."
A tall, thin woman with gray-streaked red hair burst through the cafe doors and stood staring at them on the boardwalk. She had seen them enter and had also witnessed them being asked to leave.
"Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones, I presume," she asked with a heavy Scottish brogue.
Heyes rose from the bench and he and Kid both removed their hats. "Yes, ma'am. We were hoping to talk to you."
"And I was hoping you would have come when the boy came. That spectacle wouldn't have taken place if you had. But at least you're here now. I know you probably have many questions and I will try to answer the ones that I can, but you must understand that I do not have much time. I'm expected back soon and if I'm late there will be a lot of explaining to do."
There were so many questions that Heyes wanted answered he didn't know which one to ask first. And now she was pressuring him with time limits. "Where did you get this letter?" he pulled the folded letter from his breast pocket.
"Miss Evangeline gave it to me to give to you. I am in the employ of Mrs. Olivia Vanderbilt."
"Is she here? Evie? Is she here in Laramie?" Heyes asked anxiously.
"No, she is not," Martha said solemnly, knowing it would bring disappointment to the young man who stood in front of her.
"Well, where is she? Why didn't she wait for me outside the prison? And who was that man with her? And what is this letter all about? She wrote that this would be the last time I would ever hear from her. Would you mind explaining that to me?"
"I can't explain it to you. All you need to understand is that this is for real. If you wish to remain free then you must never try to find her or seek her out. She has sacrificed a great deal to make you a free man. Don't let her sacrifice be in vain by doin' somethin' stupid and getting yourself arrested again. If she ever has contact with you again, there won't be any place the two of you can hide from the consequences of the false crimes they will say you've done just to get you back behind those prison walls. And if I know the man who will make up those lies like I think I do, it won't be cracking a few safes you'll be accused of this time. It'll be something far worse." Another couple came out of the cafe and gave them all suspicious eyes as they crossed the street. "Perhaps we shouldn't speak on a public street. Meet me two miles outside of town headed east," she whispered as she walked past them and headed down the boardwalk. She entered a nearby private coach and the driver headed east out of town. The boys followed.
The door to the private coach fell open but no one got out. The boys took that as an invitation to get inside. They climbed in and sat side by side on the vacant seat opposite the red haired lady. "My name is Martha Erskine. I have been in the employ of the Sanders family since I was a teenager. I lost me own family after just coming to America from Scotland. I had nothing and no one, but Mr. Sanders, God rest him, gave me a job and a place to call home. They became more than my employers. They became my family. I raised all three of them girls and I love them all like they was me own daughters. It broke me heart when Miss Lilly ran off and never came back, God rest her. But now her precious baby girl is here, all grown up, and I love that one too like she was me own grand daughter. And I won't see her hurt. Do you understand?"
"I don't plan to hurt her, Ms. Erskine. I love her, too. I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy. But I can't do that unless I know where she is. Obviously she's made some sort of deal to get us out of prison and part of that deal means not seeing me. I want to know why?"
"You misunderstand me, Mr. Heyes. It's not you I fear will hurt her. And I mean what I say when I tell you that it will mean the end of your freedom if you so much as breath in Miss Evangeline's direction. She has made a pact." Her green eyes grew narrow and a frown turned down her wide mouth. "And a pact with the devil it is. No one must know that I've spoken with you here today. And I have been sworn to secrecy about the pact. And I won't break me sworn oath. But from all that I've heard about the two of you and all that Livvy and Evangeline have told me, the two of you are very smart and capable young men. And you must use all of your capabilities now if you want to keep the woman that you love from ruining her life and yours as well. So I'll be saying goodbye to you both then as I hand you this," she extended a large brown envelope to Heyes. "Goodbye to you as I head southeast." Heyes took note as she stressed the direction in which she was heading. " And I'll ask you please, to not try and follow my coach. And I do hope the two of you enjoy reading the local newspapers. One can always learn much about the world from the newspapers." That was the last thing she said as she opened the door, signaling to the boys that their conversation was over.
As Heyes closed the door to the coach, Martha stuck her head out of the curtained window and said loudly, "Let us be on our way, James. I want to make it back to Cheyenne before nightfall." She looked Heyes dead in the eye as she revealed where she was heading. Heyes stood and stared at the retreating coach. His jaw working back and forth as he pondered all that the loyal servant had said, and not said.
"That was strange. She brought us all the way out here to tell us she wasn't going to tell us anything," Kid griped.
Heyes just rolled his eyes. "She just told us where Evie and Livvy are."
"She did?"
"Didn't you hear her? They're in Cheyenne. She's obviously Livvy's maid or something, so you know she's going to where they are. And that's Cheyenne. And she wants us to follow her there and keep an eye on the local papers for something."
"I don't like all this, Heyes. It all sounds fishy to me."
"I don't like it either, Kid. Something just ain't right about this whole thing."
"I think we should follow that coach and see where she's heading."
"My thoughts exactly, Kid. I guess time in prison helped you out more than we thought, you're beginning to think just like me again."
KId just gave his partner a scathing look before he smiled and headed for his horse.
Heyes was opening the large envelope as Kid was about to mount. He peeked inside. His eyes bugged out of his head.
"Aw, no. What is it?" Kid asked, curious as to what would cause Heyes reaction. Heyes reached in and pulled out a stack of twenty dollar bills.
Kid whistled low and long, and walked back to Heyes and took the stack of money from his hand. There were several stacks of the crisp new bills inside the envelope. "How much is in there Heyes?"
Heyes took a moment to estimate. "There must be at least five thousand dollars here. Wait here's another letter." He handed the envelope of money to Kid before he unfolded the piece of paper and read aloud,
Gentlemen,
Here is enough cash to keep you sheltered and fed for some time. I am happy to hear of your release and I pray these funds will help you get started in a new life. It is my intention to keep you both funded with enough money to keep you both from having to drift from town to town. I have taken the liberty of finding you both positions at a ranch outside of Laramie. It is owned by a man named Gibbons and he is expecting your arrival at any time. You will be working with horses and there is a bunkhouse where you can stay. I have assured him of your skill with horses and of your trustworthiness, despite who you are. There, you will also find Odin. He has traveled with us and now he is yours once more. Evangeline has given Rusty as a gift to Jed. He and Odin are both at the Gibbons ranch. I deeply regret that things could not have turned out differently, but Evangeline and I have begun a new life and you should do the same. This is the only way that you can be free. Please don't try to contact either of us, for it would mean disastrous results for everyone.
With sincere affection and regret,
Olivia Vanderbilt
Heyes shrugged when he saw the perplexed look on Kid's face. "Sincere affection? Is that all she wrote? She only mentioned my name once?" Kid grumbled as he plucked the letter from Heyes's hand and read over the short note that Livvy had written for himself.
Heyes gave him a sympathetic look and another shrug. "Sorry, Kid."
"Does this mean we're headed to the Gibbons ranch?" Kid asked with a sigh, sensing that his empty stomach was going to remain just that - empty.
"Yep, that's what it means alright," Heyes mumbled, thinking. "I know you're hungry, Kid, I am too, but..."
"Now that I've read this letter, I can wait for food and the horses can wait too. Let's get to Cheyenne and find out what the heck is going on. Sincere affection...pfft."
Heyes was shocked that Kid would choose to follow after a woman rather than get a meal. He was mounted up and ready to ride before Heyes.
"Well, what are you waiting on, let's go," Kid prodded.
Heyes gave his partner a puzzled look. Maybe time in jail had altered Kid's state of mind. He expected a lot of fussing and complaining because they weren't going to get supper first. Or maybe the pangs of unrequited love were stronger than the hunger pangs. He knew that Kid had probably thought about Livvy while he was in prison almost as much as he had thought about Evie. Heyes mounted and they headed southeast toward Cheyenne.
They had hoped to make it to Cheyenne before nightfall, but the sun had set a couple of hours before they arrived. They sat atop a high ridge that overlooked the town. They decided it was best to wait until daylight to ride into town. They feared the same chilly reception they had received in Laramie.
Later that night, as Kid snored lightly in his bedroll, on the other side of the small campfire, Heyes lay awake in his. He had expected to sleep like a baby knowing he was now a free man. But his restless mind would not let him find sleep. He had Evie's binding cord wrapped around his fist. He held it to his nostrils and inhaled sharply, taking in the fresh musky scent of her that still clung to the fabric and to the soft swatch of hair. He could tell that she had carried the cord with her wherever she went in the past year. He wondered what had become of the ring. He rose and moved to lean against the trunk of a big maple tree and stared at the half moon shining in the dark blue, starlit sky. Everything had happened so fast he hadn't really had a chance to study on how he really felt. But now, alone with his thoughts once more, he knew exactly how he felt. He felt cheated. He had been given another miracle. He was free. And not just free from prison walls, he was free from his past. Pardoned of all the crimes he'd ever committed. He could go anywhere he chose and shout from the rooftops that he was Hannibal Heyes and there was nothing anybody could do about it. But that freedom had come with a price. The most handsome price he could have paid. Only he had not paid it. Evie had. And he wasn't exactly sure what the price had been. He only knew that whatever the price, they were both going to suffer from paying it. He wanted answers. And he was going to have to figure them out for himself. He wasn't going to be cheated out of a life with the woman he loved, a woman he knew loved him, a woman who had fought just as hard as he had to be together, just because somebody told him that's the way it was going to be. He didn't want to live without Evie. If he was going to have to live without her, then it had better be for a damn good reason. If the other person involved in this deal thought he was going to just accept it and slink off into the shadows and not question this whole thing, then that person didn't know Hannibal Heyes very well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Please, come back to bed, me darling. You don't want to have bags under your eyes tomorrow. There's bound to be photographs taken. That scheming bastard's going to want to plaster pictures of this farce all over the place, you know."
"Martha, I really don't care. About the bags or the pictures."
"You're thinking of him again, aren't you me love."
"When do I not think about him? Not a minute goes by that he's not on my mind. It's like his image is burned into my brain and every time I close my eyes, I can see him. It was bad enough before I saw him today. And now......I just can't shake the image of him so thin in that prison uniform with his hair all gone. Did you say he was wearing his hat and the clothes that I had bought for him this evening when you saw him?"
"Yes, he was wearing the clothes and the hat. And I must say, that your description of him didn't do him justice. He was quite the bonny lad. Even though he could stand to eat a few potatoes and grow some hair."
"Oh, you should have seen him before. His hair was so shiny and soft. Brown with golden lights in it. And he wasn't so skinny. He was just right. Perfect. He was beautiful."
"Men aren't beautiful, Evangeline, they are handsome."
Evie shook her head as she wiped a wayward tear that escaped the corner of her eye. "No. Not Hannibal Heyes. Handsome doesn't quite cover it. He is beautiful."
Martha came out onto the balcony and hugged her from behind. "Let's get you back to bed. I'm an old woman and I need me rest. And if you don't sleep I won't sleep. So have pity on these tired old bones and come back to bed."
"Your bones could out work any man I know. And even if I didn't sleep, you would be sawing logs in a matter of minutes and we both know it." Evie smiled and hugged her back before conceding defeat and walking back inside from the balcony she had been standing on. She had been granted the entire wing of rooms she had requested and she was pleased to find that her bedroom had a large balcony that overlooked the gardens on the west side of the governor's mansion. There were four adjoining rooms. Livvy and Martha each had a smaller bedroom and there was a nice sized sitting room with shelves of books and a piano that Evie had requested. James bunked down with the stable hands in the bunkhouse. This was her first night here in her new bedroom. The room like the rest of the house reminded her of a undertaker's parlor. The walls were all highly varnished dark walnut wood. There were ornate, cast iron light fixtures on the walls that reminded her of long, crooked fingers with sharp talon-like nails. When Martha had lit the candle in one of the black sconces on the sitting room wall, the fingers cast eerie shadows that looked like something evil pointing in all directions. The drapes throughout the house were all deep crimson or navy blue velvet. To be honest the whole place gave her a sense of foreboding. There was a heaviness that seemed to crush the breath out of your lungs when you entered the door. This room nor this house could ever compare to Heavenly Hills. She was homesick for her home in Nashville and for her beloved. She wondered what he was doing now that he was free. When she had first learned that Hannibal was going to be sent to prison for twenty years, the pain in her heart had been unbearable Over the past year that pain had subsided to a constant dull ache but the pain never really went completely away. And she found that it still remained even knowing he was no longer a prisoner. Evie climbed in under the covers and waited for Martha to leave the room, taking the lamp and the light with her.
"Martha?" Evie asked as the woman who was her servant and her friend as she stood with her hand on the door. "Tell me again what he said."
"He said he would never hurt you, because he loved you. And that he wanted to spend the rest of his life making you happy."
"And was he terribly upset with me?"
"Me darlin', he was heartbroken. I could see it in the depths of his bonny brown eyes. He's confused and hurt and he wants answers."
"But you didn't tell him what I've done did you? If he knows the truth he'll try something stupid like coming here and kidnapping me and then everything will be ruined."
"No, dear, I did not tell him that you have exchanged your hand in marriage for the key to his cell."
"You didn't tell him where I am did you? If he knows where I am he'll come here for sure and then the wrong person could see him and then..."
"Ssshhh. Now you go to sleep and quit worrying your pretty head about it. If the man is as smart and crafty as you tell me he is he won't do anything before he thinks it over long and good. And besides, your aunt Livvy has found them both jobs at a ranch that's more than fifty miles from here. And they've enough money to keep them for a good long while."
Evie sighed. “I suppose you’re right. I don’t think he’ll be coming to Cheyenne."
"And try as you might you can't hide the disappointment in your voice. I know you want him to remain free and the only way for that to happen is for him to stay away. But I also know that you miss him and you love him and you'd give your right eye to see him again."
"You know me too well, Martha."
"Yes, I do. And I know that if you don't get some rest you'll be as cranky as an old mama bear without her cubs. Now off you go." With that she left the room leaving Evie in the dark, alone with her thoughts. Sleep would never find her tonight. She had too many things on her mind. Could she really go through with tomorrow? Was she really going to do this? She had to do this. His freedom depended on it. His freedom and our future depend on it, Evie. This is the only way. You must go through with it. She had to keep telling herself that. Because if she didn't, she was afraid she would throw on some clothes, shimmy down the trellis and run until she couldn't run anymore.
She tossed and turned, trying to sleep, but she lay wide awake envisioning the hurt look that Martha had described in his beautiful brown eyes. Then she was haunted by visions of tomorrow. Finally she gave up trying and went back to the balcony and leaned against the thick stone railing to stare out on the beautiful spring night. A cool breeze blew in lifting her hair and the hem of her ankle length nightgown. She inhaled deeply and caught the scent of lilac and honeysuckle. Was he enjoying the scents of spring where he was? She hoped he was. She wanted him to enjoy all the simple pleasures of life that she had sacrificed so much to make sure that he could have. She ached with the need to see him, to touch him and hold him and to smell his scent. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. But it was too late. Already she was imagining him, climbing the balcony and coming in through the open French doors and hovering over her as she lay waiting for him. Then he would cover her body with his own, staking his claim to what would always be his. Her young body began to yearn for his touch. She longed for the feel of his skin beneath her fingers, the smell of him to fill her nostrils, the touch of his hands on her needy flesh. She had to stop thinking of him like this. An aching longing began deep inside of her and she knew the only man who could ever make that ache go away was lost to her. He wouldn't be riding in and carrying her away on his black steed. That was the way things went in fairy tales. And her life now was no fairy tale. The governor's mansion was surrounded by brick walls with an iron gate. There were armed men posted at the gates and at the front and back entrances of the mansion. And the watchman was always close by, watching her every move. There was no wicked witch that a magical spell could conquer in this story. Only real men with real guns holding real bullets. This was her reality now. Get used to it Evie, because this is your life now. You'll never be alone, but you'll always be lonely. She drew a shaky breath and looked once more at the star filled sky and wondered if he were looking at the same stars at this moment. She hoped so. But even if he weren't, whatever he was doing, he was doing it as a free man. The part of her that wasn't drowning in grief for having exchanged her happiness for his freedom, rejoiced in that thought. She made her way back to her big lonesome bed and eventually drifted off into a restless sleep filled with dreams of being rescued by her beloved.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a short, uncomplicated ceremony. The groom wore a three piece suit of black. The bride an ivory lace gown with matching veil. Neither wore a smile. Vows were exchanged, and a ring was placed on the bride's finger. It was a heavy, cold ring of tungsten. The couple stood side by side and posed unhappily for the photographer. The governor insisted on being in almost every photograph. Martha must have been right. He wanted to make sure that everyone saw these photographs of him with his son and his new daughter-in-law.
He had also made sure that the right people had been in attendance at the small private ceremony, held in the garden of the governor's mansion. There had been whispers of disapproval that the wedding had not taken place in a church. But Evie had been glad it had not. The thought of standing in God's house, vowing to love and cherish a man she didn't even know, who she had in fact only met once before today, was both sacrilegious and hypocritical. Why couldn't they have just pretended to have gotten married in some other state. They could have pretended that they had eloped. Evie had even suggested that idea to the governor. But he had insisted that there be a real wedding with a real ceremony in front of important and influential people. It was either a real wedding or no deal. And so here she sat now posing for photographs on her wedding day, inside this mansion that would become her prison. She was now Mrs. Clayton Ramsey III.
She looked down at the ring on her finger. It looked strange and it felt cold and heavy. She looked around at all the people smiling at her, hobnobbing around the governor, offering their congratulations on his son's marriage. She had listened to the women compliment her dress and her beauty until she couldn't stand it any longer. If one more person told her how lucky she was to have snagged such an eligible bachelor and how lucky her husband was to have found such a beautiful young bride she thought she was going to gag. She felt like the walls were closing in and she was going to be crushed. She felt fragile and vulnerable and she didn't like it. Where was Livvy? Where was Martha? They had both promised her that one of them would remain downstairs with her the entire time. They were her lifelines and now they were missing. Her eyes searched the room while she tried to listen to the photographer telling her how to sit and where to look. Then the bright light of the camera's flash blinded her for a moment making white spots appear before her eyes. She wanted to run. She wanted to run out the front doors and keep running and never look back. But if she did that, everyone would just think it was an endearing case of bridal nerves. She had to get a hold of herself. She just needed strength to get through the rest of this mockery of marriage in which she was playing a part.
Like an angel on her shoulder, a sweet Scottish brogue whispered in her ear. "Just a wee bit more of this travesty of a sanctified ceremony and you can retire to our chambers and make the best of the rest of the day.... with your real family."
Feeling secure again with the presence of her protector, Martha, Evangeline found the strength she needed to clasp the unfamiliar, cold hand of the stranger beside her who the world now thought of as her husband. Evie wanted to laugh as she looked at their hands, his resting atop hers as they sat side by side in front of a painted backdrop of an Italian vineyard. His hands were so different from Hannibal Heyes' hands. These hands were pale and soft with manicured nails. Not strong and tanned and roughened from hours of labor. She cut her eyes sideways to catch the profile of the man she now shared a name with. Although dark haired and dark eyed, he was everything that Hannibal Heyes was not. He was spoiled and weak. His clothes were expensive and immaculate. He was about the same hieght and build as Hannibal, but Evie could tell without much inspection that under his costly finery he possessed none of the firm, toned muscles that her beloved's body so splendidly displayed. He seemed slightly feminine to her. Unlike Hannibal who was so indisputably masculine. And much to Evie's disappointment, he was also something else that Hannibal was not....he was the man she had married.
How many of these dreadful photographs were they supposed to sit through anyway? She was growing weary of it. Livvy had absolutely ruined her desire to sit for a photograph when they had first returned to Nashville. She had insisted on photographs being taken every month. Evie supposed she was making up for years of having no family to take photographs of. But the novelty of it had worn off for Evie and now given the circumstance of this particular photograph she just wanted the whole thing to be over with. And the last thing she needed was half a dozen reminders of this day, framed and staring at her for the rest of her life. She just wanted to go into the dining room, have dinner with the two dozen strangers who were guests at her wedding, make her excuses and retreat behind the sanctity of her bedroom door. Just as Martha had said, that was were her real family was. Even if it was missing two members.
Only a couple of hours later, though to her it seemed like days, Evie was standing on the balcony outside her bedroom still wearing her wedding gown. The balcony had become the only place where she could find peace and solitude in her new place of residence. She refused to call it home. When she stood on the balcony facing the west and overlooking the garden, she felt somehow closer to her beloved. He was after all somewhere west of here, in Laramie she supposed, starting a new life as a free man. She inhaled the sweet aroma of lilac and mimosa. From here she had a clear view of the entire western side of the grounds. When she looked to her right she could see the back courtyard where the governor and his guests often played croquette and other yard games. And to her left she could see the western end of the front lawn and the driveway that lead to the front gate. She breathed a sigh of relief as she watched the rear of the last guest's carriage head toward the gates. It was over.
She had made it though. She didn't know how but she had made it through. By the grace of God, that was how and she knew it. She had endured the governor's whispered threats when she didn't smile and play the part of the happy, blushing bride. She had lived through his ludicrous toast to the bride and groom at dinner without so much as gagging, let alone vomiting. She had made it through the nosy old women's questions as they tried to pry information from her about her past. And she had survived the mortification of her new father-in-law's announcement that the newlyweds must be excused to begin their much awaited wedding night upstairs. She shivered now even thinking about that man's hands touching her. Thank the good Lord it was over. Now all she had to do was get through the rest of her life as Mrs. Clayton Ramsey III. Or at least until she and Livvy could come up with a plan for making her the former Mrs. Clayton Ramsey III.
As if being cued to enter the stage of this dark farce, his lilting voice came from the doorway of her bedroom. She whirled quickly around to stare at him, for she knew that he had been told to never enter her suite of rooms without permission. It had been one of her conditions.
"Just so you know, I don't plan on exercising my marital rights tonight or any other night for that matter. So you can rest easy, princess." He held a white handkerchief in his left hand and pulled it continuously through the fist of his right while he leaned nonchalantly against the door jam. He looked her up and down with indifferent brown eyes. "Besides, you're really not my type."
Evie's mother had always taught her never to judge someone from one meeting, so she had set aside any prejudgment she might have had about Clay based on what she had seen and heard on her first trip to Cheyenne two weeks ago. And she had hoped that even though her marriage was to be in name only, that eventually she and her new husband could at least be friends. But apparently he did not plan on even being friendly towards her. That suited Evie just fine. "If I had had the slightest indication that I were remotely your type, I would never have agreed to this asinine farce in the first place," she informed him as she came to stand in front of him.
"Good. Then we understand each other. You stay out of my life and I'll stay out of yours. Deal?"
"Deal. Now if you'll excuse me, I would like to spend the rest of the evening with my loved ones."
"Yes, you have quite the little family don't you? So sad that my father was able to use it as leverage against you to get you to sign that contract." The look that crossed Evie's face gave away her surprise, for she had no idea that the governor had told his son about her secret. "Oh, yes, I know all about your little secret. But even if Father hadn't told me, it wouldn't have been very difficult to figure out. I was at their trial so I've seen both of those outlaws, and one only has to glance at it to see that child is his. So there's no need to try and keep up with all that hogwash about your newly wedded husband being murdered along with your family in Texas and leaving you in the family way. I know the truth. That outlaw knocked you up before he was arrested and you had to go into hiding in Boston to keep people in Nashville from asking too many questions. Going there to attend music school was a nice touch." There was a smug smirk on his face. A face that Evie might have described as handsome had his attitude not been so repugnant. "So I guess we both have our secrets don't we. And you don't have to worry about me spilling the beans. Hell, you've made me look like the hero, honey. I married a young widow and agreed to raise her fatherless child. At least that's what everyone thinks, right? What a grand deed on my part, huh? Now that's bound to take attention off of my dastardly deeds," he continued as her rolled his eyes and dramatically placed a hand to his heart, "so daddy won't have to worry about getting run out of office on a rail. Hell, he'll probably become president the way those old bitties downstairs were carrying on about how romantic the whole thing was. How does it feel to be a pawn in my father's little game?"
"I am no one's pawn. I stand to gain just as much as he does with this agreement. I've kept my part of the bargain. And I will continue to honor it by making the necessary public appearances so your father's constituency will believe that we are the happiest newlyweds in Cheyenne."
"And by doing so you will keep your lover out of prison. Even more romantic. Too bad all that romance will be wasted on our marriage. Of course I have no objection if you want to follow my example and dally in extra curricular activities. Father thinks that marrying you will not only make the public forget about my supposed debauchery but also make me want to be a family man. Sorry, honey, but I'm not changing for anyone. Not even you. Although, I must admit," his dark eyes scanned her curves before coming to rest on her beautiful face, "if I did ever get the itch to do the whole man and wife family thing, you'd certainly be an excellent candidate, with those big eyes flashing lightning at me and all that hair hanging down to those curvy hips. Um um. No wonder my father was so anxious to keep you around."
"Please leave my room. And do not come back unless you knock and you are invited. And don't ever speak about my child, again. I neither need nor want your opinions, so keep them to yourself," she said firmly with as much anger in her tone as she could impart.
He dismissed her with a wave of his handkerchief and pushed himself away from the door jam. The smirk never left his face as he turned to leave. Evie slammed the door behind him and turned the key in the keyhole. He had obviously missed the fact that Livvy had been the one nursing Gabby that day in his room and his father had not told him that part of their secret. He believed she had given birth to Kid Curry's baby. She hugged her arms around herself and went back to the balcony. The sun was dropping behind the line of trees that marked the west end of the mansion property. She rested her hands on top of the stone railing and was arrested by the sight of the heavy thick tungsten ring on her left ring finger. Governor Ramsey had provided the ring and she knew he had picked the largest, chunkiest ring he could find so that it was very visible for all to see. She wanted to pull it off and hurl it over the edge of the balcony. But wearing it was a small price to pay if it meant that her beloved Hannibal and Jed could be free. Cold chills wracked her body when she thought of them in that place. Even more cold chills followed when she thought of her "husband" exercising his marital rights. She felt inside the collar of the ivory wedding gown she still wore and pulled out the silver chain from which hung the delicate silver ring that she considered her real wedding ring. She put the silver circle to her lips and kissed it. "I promise you one thing, Mr. Heyes. No other man will ever put his hands on me. No one except you. Only you."
Livvy, Martha and the precious little gift of God that she loved so much were all waiting for her in the adjoining room. She was supposed to change out of her wedding dress and join them for coffee. And as much as she loved them all, she just wanted to be alone. Alone with her misery. It was her wedding night. It should have been the happiest day of her life. And it would have been if the groom had been someone else. If the groom had been the man that she loved. Instead it had been a man she knew almost nothing about, but was developing a very healthy dislike for just the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment